do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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