I just threw up on my dentist
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
