the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
