I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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