No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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