I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
