hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
