happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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