I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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