Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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