I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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