well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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