I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
