chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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