You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
