Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
