it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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