More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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