How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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