so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
