I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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