in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
