Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
