the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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