she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
