why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
