Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
