I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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