he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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