either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dick very happy bro
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
