Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
