You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
