Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
