Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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