You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
