i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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