Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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