he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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