I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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