mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
