I wannas sexs uuuuu
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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