i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
