Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize