dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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