I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
