We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
