Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
