Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
