Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
