I think I died a long time ago.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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