First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
